A New Leaf
He came to the desk with a quivering lip;
the lesson was all done;
"dear Teacher, I want a new leaf," he said. "I have spoiled this one."
I took the old leaf, torn and blotted, and gave him a new one, all unspotted.
And into his sad eyes smiled, "Do better now, my child."
I came to the throne with a trembling heart;
the year's work was done.
"Dear Father, I want a new year," I said. "I have spoiled this one."
He took the old year, torn and blotted, and gave me a new one, all unspotted.
And into my sad heart smiled, "Do better now, my child."
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Rabbi Eliezer said, "Repent one day before your death." "But," his disciples asked, "how does a person know when they are going to die?"
"All the more reason, said Rabbi Eliezar "to repent today lest you die tomorrow. In this way, a person will spend their whole life in teshuva." Shabbat 153a
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Can we be forgiven for all our shortcomings? Is there a path to redemption for the one who is undeserving?
"The past can be canceled by a true cry from the heart to God and a return to His law. This holds not only for the annual reckoning, but to the last hour a man lives; so my grandfather taught me. He had in his Bronx apartment a lodger less learned than himself, and much fiercer in piety. One day when we were studying the laws of repentance together, the lodger burst from his room. "What!" he said. "The atheists guzzles whiskey and eats pork and wallows with his women all his life long, and then repents the day before he dies and stands guiltless? While I spend a lifetime trying to please God?"
My grandfather pointed to the book, "So it is written," he said gently.
-"Written!" the lodger roared. "There are books and there are books!"
And he slammed back into his room.
The lodger's outrage seemed highly logical. My grandfather pointed out afterwards that cancelling the past does not turn it into a record of achievement. It eaves a blank. a waste of spilled years.
A man had better return, he said, while time remains to write a life worth scanning. And since no man knows his death day, the time to get a grip on his life is the first hour when the impulse strikes him."
- Herman Wouk, This is My God
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Every human being is endowed by God with two eyes. With one she/he is expected to look at his/he neighbor, fastening his/her gaze on his/her virtues, his/her desirable qualities. With the other eye, she/he is to turn inward to see his/her own shortcomings in order to correct them.
Rabbi Israel Salanter, founder of Musar Movement.
Each physical aspect has a counterbalance. We are evenly weighted to insure that we have every chance to do teshuva, repentance.
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> “God’s greatness is unfathomable. That is why teshuva has such power. No matter how far you have fallen – even to the lowest depths – do not despair because you can always return to God. With a little effort you can turn the worst sins into merits. No matter where in the world you fall, you can always come back to God. This is because of His unfathomable greatness. Nothing is beyond His power. Never give up! Keep crying out, praying, and pleading to God at all times.” ~ Rebbe Nachman
> Sometimes a sin can make a person so bitter that s/he repents completely.” ~ Rebbe Nachman
> “There is a way that everything can be turned into good.” ~ Rebbe Nachman
> “Wisdom was asked: What is the fate of the sinner? Wisdom replied, “Evil pursues iniquity.” (Proverbs 13:21)
Prophecy was asked: What is the fate of the sinner? Prophecy answered: “The soul that sins, it shall die.” *(Ezekiel 18:20)
The Torah was asked: What is the fate of the sinner? The Torah replied: “He shall bring a guilt offering, and it shall atone for him.” (Leviticus 5)
God was asked: What is the fate of the sinner? God answered: “He shall do teshuva, and it shall atone for him.” ~ Midrash
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Failure is difficult. We want the best from ourselves but our worst inclinations, the yetser hara, often is stronger than our best wishes. In truth, real teshuva is difficult, at best.
A Hasid went to his rebbe and asked, Why pray on Yom Kippur? What is the point? After all, we are just going to sin again."
Outside a toddler was just learning to walk on unsteady legs. He kept falling down. Each day they watched the child try again and again until he succeeded.
"So it is with us," said the rebbe. "We keep on falling time and again but in the end, it is a loving God who grants us enough opportunities so that we can eventually succeed."
- Rabbi Avraham Weiss
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No one knows how long they will live. Yet, there will come a time in everyone's life when the past and present merge to form an implacable wall that will not be wished away or ignored. It must be confronted.
Rabbi Simcha Bunam of Pshyzka was playing chess with a sinner.
Reb Bunam made a wrong move and asked if he could take it back. His opponent consented. gain, The rabbi erred and once more asked to be given another chance. This time the partner refused.
His eyes filled with intensity and compassion and Reb Bunam said, "There comes a time in life when we make a move that cannot be taken back."
The opponent then felt a deep burning in his soul and vowed to begin the process to returning.
- Rabbi Nehemia Polen
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Rabbi Yossi was walking down a road as darkness fell. As he looked down the road, Rabbi Yossi saw a blind man making his way towards him. In one hand, the blind man carried a cane to feel the road in front of him and in the other he carried a torch.
Rabbi Yossi was perplexed. "How foolish!. What are you doing? You can't see. What good can that torch possibly do to help you find your way??"
The blind man turned towards the rabbi and answered, "The torch is not to help me see.. The lighted torch to help others see me. When people see me and realize that I am blind they have compassion and help me avoid dangers.. That is the reason I carry this torch." The blind man became the teacher. The erudite rabbi was humbled.
-Rabbi Jeffrey Summit
There is no “For the sin of assumption…” that we say on the Days of Awe. But just think how often assumptions lead us down a dark path.
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Return (Teshuva), backsliding Israel, says the Lord, and I will not cause My anger to fall upon you; For I am merciful, says the Lord, and I will not remain angry forever. Only acknowledge your sin, that you have transgressed against the Lord your God...and you have not obeyed my voice...Return (Teshuva), backsliding children, says the Lord, for I am betrothed to you...and I will bring you to Zion..." -Jeremiah 3:12-15
Idea: God urges us to come back. Verbalizing the sentiment time and again the Father wants us back. What could be more powerful than a parent’s plea to their child to return home?
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We are not so forgiving with others who have harmed us. We withhold forgiveness. We are harsh. So when the same question was put to the various agencies of the Lord, here is how they unsurprisingly responded:
Wisdom was asked: What is the fate of the transgressor? Wisdom replied: “Evil pursues iniquity” (Proverbs 13:21).
Prophecy was asked: What is the fate of the transgressor? Prophecy replied: “The soul that sins, it shall die” (Ezekiel 18:20).
The Torah was asked: What is the fate of the transgressor? Torah replied: He shall bring a guilt-offering, and it shall atone for him (Leviticus, 5).
…and then God was asked: What is the fate of the transgressor? God replied: He shall do teshuva, and it shall atone for him."
-Yalkut Shimoni on Psalms 25.
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Yet our sages tell us that there is an even higher level of closeness to God—that “in the place where baalei teshuva (returnees) stand, even absolute tzaddikim cannot stand.”
-Berachot 34b.
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"Rabbi Abahu bar Zeira said, 'Great is teshuva, for it preceded the Creation of the World, as it says, 'Before the mountains were born,…You reduced Man to nothingness, and said 'Repent …' (Psalms 90:2-3)"
-Bereshit Rabba, 1
Dwarfing us, God reveals the great truth of His real. All he desires is the true heart of teshuva.
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"If it is bent, it cannot be made straight, and if something is missing, it cannot be replaced." (Ecclesiastes 1:15)
"In 'This World,' what is crooked can be made straight, and if something is missing, it can be replaced; however, in the 'World-to-Come,' the opportunity to straighten out the crooked or to replace something that is missing has passed."
-Kohelet Rabbati 1
Idea: We know the truth: we cannot undo the pain, the mistakes, the sins of the past. All we can do is pray with remorse that we will change and open our arms to God. Still, there is more. Our life is not the beginning and end of all things. The soul endures. It returns back to God and there can be made whole once more.
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"The stranger is not forced to pass the night outside." (Job 31:32) This teaches that the Lord does not disqualify His creatures permanently; rather, He accepts all. The gates are open at all times; anyone who wishes to enter may do so."
-Shemot Rabbah: 19
Anyone who knocks on the gate will be answered.
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"Rabbi Levi said, 'Great is Teshuva, for it enables a person to reach the throne of God," as it says 'Return, Israel, to the Lord your God.' (Hosea 14:2)"
-Yoma: 86a
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>"God remains close even when we become distant" - Rabbi Abraham Isaac Kook
>"A person who truly wants to purify himself receives assistance from heaven." - Talmud, Shabbat 104a
>"The Holy One, blessed be He, said to Israel: "My children, give to me a single opening for repentance, even as small as the eye of a needle, and I will open for you entrances through which wagons and carriages may pass." - Shir haShirim Rabba 5:3
>"The sins we commit are not the worst thing. After all, temptation is powerful and man is weak. The great crime of humanity is that he he could turn at any time, and does not." - Reb Simcha Bunim
>"To bring another to teshuva I will go down every step until I reach his level. Then I will bind the roots of my souls to the roots of his soul, and together we will repent." - Reb Zusya
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Rabbi Yochanan said, 'Teshuvah is great because it causes a person's verdict to be torn up.' " - Rosh HaShanah 17b
What a beautiful concept! We can change our destiny through the act of repentance. But look again. What is missing from that statement? It does not say that the deed is un-done. Nothing can erase the action, the sin. Once a deed has been set into motion there are myriad spin-offs, reactions in the world from it…
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * "Resh Lakish said, 'Great is Teshuvah, for sins done on purpose are converted to accidental sins’.” Elsewhere, Resh Lakish said, “Great is Teshuvah for sins done on purpose are converted to good deeds.” -Yoma 86b
So which of the above comments is correct? Are sins converted to a lesser crime? Or is their punishment erased? Are they converted to good deeds or just lesser sins?
Rabbi Yochanan is speaking about when the sinner repents because they are fearful of Divine punishment. Resh Lakish is referring to the person who repents out of love for the Almighty. Yoma 86b
Repentance comes from different places: it can emerge from fear or love. And how do we know which one is better? It is obvious that it is preferable to repent out of love because then God reckons the sin as a mistake, an aberration. Repentance that comes from fear may erase the punishment but it does nothing to original transgression.
In the first case, Resh Lakish is speaking of someone who repents out of fear of the Almighty. Such a person has committed sins and is terrified that the Lord will be angry. For such a person the quality of their sin is changed.
In the second case, Resh Lakish is speaking of a person who, out of genuine love, feels remorse for his action. That kind of love for God is justly rewarded, says the famous teacher.
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"How noble and good everyone could be if, every evening before falling asleep, they were to recall to their minds the events of the whole day and consider exactly what had been good and bad. Then, without realizing it, you try to improve yourself at the start of each new day. Of course, you achieve quite a lot in the course of time. Anyone can do this. It costs nothing and is certainly very helpful. Whoever doesn't know it must learn and find by experience that 'A quiet conscience makes one strong'. " - Anne Frank
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One final tale:
"A broken-hearted father from the united States came to Israel; his only son had become a hippie, left college the year before, and vanished without a trace. Standing at the Wall in Jerusalem, the father wrote a prayer on a piece of paper, imploring God to restore his son to him unharmed. As he inserted his kvittel in a crevice in the Wall, one of the may notes embedded there fell to the ground. He bent down to retrieve it and recognized a familiar handwriting. It was that of his lost son.
"On the back of the paper was scrawled, "Dear God, please let me see my mom and dad again!"
"The young man had also written his address on the note. And so there was a most joyous reunion because two people, father and son, had offered prayers at the Wall."